Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Living Mansions

“The best way to know God is to love many things.”
         – Vincent Van Gogh

I used to be very careful about where I set my attachments. Careful when choosing the mark, and exact with the aim. Loving is not one, predatory movement, though. Loving is a heap of heres and theres. Love sits us on a bathroom floor and makes us think about it, when we should be in bed. Love puppets us to our feet on gray mornings, and moves our arms and legs to gloomy coastlines – because the only thing to think about is a person we love, when we look at the massive, heaving sea.


I miss being home, it’s so comforting and I want that,
but then I don’t at the same time

I thought, for a long time, that love was something adhesive. I was scared of it sticking me to one house, or school, or person. But love is not going to corner us like that; when we give it a place to stay, we find more spaces for it. We are thousands of vacant rooms for love. We are halls, and tubs, and countertops for love. Without it full-of-go and bustling inside us, we rot.

2014 is coming to a close soon, and I love so many things. I love things more and I love them better than I used to, and I’m not trapped. I have felt the freedom of loving many things and I have made a home of myself.  


 “Waltz of the Flowers,” from a 2013 performance of the New York City Ballet’s The Nutcracker. Photograph by Henry Leutwyler for vanityfair

"If nothing saves us from death, may love at least save us from life."
    Pablo Neruda

Monday, December 8, 2014

To Look and to See

To smooth along over suits and skirts
to make my way with a gaze
scuttle bumping side-stepping, with eyes
across peopled receptions

Skimming the lower fete circles on couches
search-lighting seas of legs-on-laps
trying to catch it, the shimmer
the gleam of you

Amid tinkling tinsel and cider glass
across silver-gold holiday merrymaking
now there's you and there's me, always
fashioning faces