The Numbness

What a privilege to be affected

Sickened by blood 
And scared of the dark

To have ears that shudder at screams 
Have hands that leap up to cover wide eyes

To feel every black and blue bashing 
Know that this is going to hurt 
And fiercely feel it when it hurts

A privilege to still break apart 
In childish ripples at the shimmering 
Boom-cracks of Independence Day

Every bump in the road is a bit of a ride 
Get that gratifying nausea after a spin

Cheer for the team and care too
Tap feet to the tune of anything soft and sad

What a privilege 

To feel the exquisite sting 
Of a broken heart
 
To move with the heavy sobs of
A perfectly self-crushing love

Better this, better that, better all these things 
- than nothing 
Than the numbness


Thank God I haven't caught The Numbness

Poison {the adolescent condition}

is it so bad

that it's killing us? slowly

it looks so nice

doing the killing

polluted skies

polluted lungs

Marlboro-lips

ash-tray eyes

paper-thin skin

pinned-up and pressed down

so far away

watching

slipped, into shadowy place

like this place, but not

watching from that place in the corner

seeing, not being seen

writhing smoky soul

wispy weak hair - pseudo halo in morning light

trapped expression

rigid, raw nails gnawed to nothing

what's doing it

it looks so nice, till it's gone

what's doing it to us? slowly

not very good - or bad

*experimental new photographs, {toilet paper, wax, fire}

MADE IN CHINA

Dreadful,
The soles of my shoes
Have romped this globe
More than I.

Night and Day

It's often said
Two things are as different
As night and day.
But how different are they,
Night and day?

Touching at the seams,
Filling the same spaces.
Night giving day rest,
Day lending itself to dark.

Both forever and fleeting,
Rousing the world. 
Their love is old and sad,
As they continue.

Continue to watch,
The ones they give the day to
Find one another -
Hold each other.

The very thing they can never quite do.

Abuelita

Bird's feet hands

Grasping delicately; me, my sister

Fly from us and land softly 

on the littlest cheek - Alexander
Perch there awhile, proud

Tiny, fragile woman

"Come, come, come"

She always spoke in a hurry

Aware of how slight our time was

Inside a hot, dim house

One flickering television, two sofas

- confessed by rosy lamp light;
Bathing the naked walls,

Cutting the smoky space

Cigarettes and perfume tangle
Flirting, dancing - in this foggy room
Pour into each other,
Stir a sickly-sweet medley
I can never forget

We're placed like dolls,
Lined up on the couch
To sit, and sink in the stillness
To sit, in the stale heat
While polite conversation breaks the quiet

But this air has been broken before
Shattered, violently
All around this tiny, fragile woman
I'm sorry I never knew -
You tiny invincible woman.